I need a change!!!

This is some thing that came to mind and which i need to convince my self!!!!!!!

Change is some thing that i have discovered as essential for my life right now!!! I have to go back to who I was!! I should be independent as I was before!! No bond!!! Nothing!!! I know I will be really hard for me to go back to who I was!! but I need to be the one that was there before 3 months.

Because the Sajith I knew then was happy all the time!! was enjoying life more than today!! I think thats better than any thing!!! What I have learned all this time is that we should never expect any thing from any body because when we don’t get what we expect it’s really hurtful!!! Its really hurtful!!!

Even I regret the fact that it took me this long to understand it still I am happy that I at least I understood it!!! It is really important for us to understand that people always can’t give what we expect!! There are boundaries and limits that he or she has to stick to!!!But yes some times some people make fake boundaries and limits to use as excuses what we should understand is that the only one whom u can trust totally is none other than you self!!!

There have been lot of people who were always there for me and cared for me!!! but then again I can’t tell then or expect them to stay there for me always because it is damn selfish!!!!! How ever I am very thankful  to them specially tumal, piyu and Nadee!!! But yet they can’t waste all their time on my useless work!!!

I have to understand this!! I knew this some time back!! But i see some change in myself which has made me forget all that which has changed me who was independent one to a nonindependent one!!!

I need to go back in the history and I prefer to change some decision i have made in the past!!!! If I could do that I would have done that with happiness but sadly not yet a time traveling instrument has been implemented( hehehe!!! I am try to find a one!!!)

How ever I need to be the person who talked with flowers, who talked with inanimate object when he was sad and shared everything with the people around!!! I need to get off this chair in front of the computer and need to think about some thing else other than the country matrix. I need to go shopping with my mother!! I want to watch some movies and enjoy them!! I want to dedicate my life to my self!!!

I need to a change a change which can make me go back in the time!! I know no else can do that!! I my self have to go back the history and be my self!!! I am going to do that!! Thats a promise i give to my self!!!

Let it today be the starting point!!! I am going to run the race of change and going to win it some how!!